Are you listening?

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Often times I find myself thinking that I wish I were smarter, wiser, whatever. But I am who I am and for this I am grateful. I know the difference between right and wrong, I know how to not hurt people, I know how to not be selfish, I know how to make people smile, I know how to not take things for granted, and I know what I need and what I don’t need in my life. I’m often brutal and too honest for my own good, I am cynical, I can be judgmental when someone’s beliefs are shoved down my throat, I am my mother’s daughter. I can be your worst enemy or your best friend. And if I’m your enemy I will seldom find the bones in my body to actively hate you. I will give away the stuff I don’t need and I won’t judge you for what you think you need so long as you don’t try to convince me that your pointless, selfish, materialistic needs are justified, because they are not. There is little that we need in life aside from food, water, shelter, and love. I know that, do you? And if you don’t that is okay, I will not try to shove my way of life down your throat to force you to live it, but I will tell you my thoughts if you are willing to read it.

We all reserve the right to be reborn and change who we are; we often do it for the better. But how often do we see people in our lives wrapping their arms around change for the worst? I am very grateful for my rebirth and for the reality that my priorities are finally in line with my heart. But in a world of such heated consumption and greed, it is often difficult to not pass judgment. I have many friends of vast breeds and love them all for different reasons and for their own individual outlooks on life. Inevitably they all inspire me somehow, no matter how different they all are. But I will admit that I only have a few friends that have such a passion driven determination to help the world and change it for the better. I, for one, am convinced that if you put me in a room, alone, for twenty minutes with two leaders of two countries that are about to go to war over oil or diamonds, for example, that I can convince them to stop. That may be arrogance talking, but I think we often take for granted how much power our own passions and convictions can have on any situation. Many people sit around hoping for change but don’t do so much as lift a finger to help a people in need.

I’m not saying that everyone has to aspire to be Gandhi or Mother Teresa, but if we all for a few minutes in our busy lives take a moment to think about the people who are far less fortunate than we are, though I believe western civilization put them in such situations, we may find a way to appreciate the state of our own lives, no matter how much we feel we are suffering on any given day. It doesn’t bother me that most people usually don’t really lift a hand to help those in need, inevitably they somehow in a very twisted way of consumption make the world go round, though consumption of goods is a whole other devil that needs discussing. However, I think at least by way of inspiring people and spreading joy, we often take too much for granted. Many people in this world don’t have friends who try to make them laugh every day. At least be grateful for that?

I wake up every morning terribly groggy and angry that I cannot sleep in. I roll out of bed, pee, wash my hands in ice cold water and make my way to the kitchen and brew my coffee ground out of beans that a child somewhere probably picked. I then shower with the wonderful clean filtered water that I am so fortunate of having the option for a hot shower or cold shower. I pour my coffee in a coffee mug made somewhere in China probably by young adults who are not as fortunate to drink out of such beauty. I then dress, put on the clothes that a child somewhere probably made and probably earned less than a meal worth of salary for the entire day they spent sewing the clothes I am putting on. I drink my coffee and reflect on all the stuff I am fortunate enough to have and suddenly wish I didn’t have. I gratefully make my lunch, fill my to-go cup with coffee and head for the door. Down the stairs I ponder not having any of things or good fortune that I have. By the time I make it out to the street I am more than willing to give it all up to help make this world a better place. Every day I move forward with this ambition more and more. Yet, I am still in the same place I was yesterday. It will take a while to get to the big picture, I grant you. But when was the last time you smiled at one of the hundreds of now homeless former yuppies that are growing in numbers ever so quickly in our streets? Yes, one day, not too long ago, that kid just off the Armitage exit ramp of the expressway, he had a job, a Mac, an iPhone, and a Facebook account. Now he is at least grateful he has a pair of shoes. Call it survival of the fittest, call it what you will. But if people of our generation, in our neighborhoods are going hungry, is that not enough of a wake up call for the need for radical action?

We live in a world controlled by our thirst for our world’s natural resources and stuff we don’t need that we don’t give a rats ass whose toes we have to step on to get what we want. Finally, in some twisted way, we have been fortunate enough to have a disaster hit so close to home by way of a massive oil spill and it is astonishing to me that people are still not listening to what the Earth is trying to tell us. She is telling us that we are killing her. This is her attempted suicide because she is giving up on us and we are so fortunate that she is giving us a chance to convince her to hang on just a little bit longer and we are still not listening.